The task of a parent in the early developmental years of a child is to help a child understand the family and the societal value system that will enable a child to fit into the broader community as he grows up.
Fitting into the society requires a mix of acceptable etiquettes, behaviours and rules even. It is no different at home - it is about helping the child understand the context and behave appropriately. Equally it is about understanding the system of rules that we as parents try and set for our children to follow. How parents play this role is critical and thankfully there is a lot of help available for parents.
As parents we are supported by the schools and teachers. Schools and teachers work hard in communicating to the parents so that what is imparted at school is reinforced at home and vice versa. Similarly at home, as parents we have help from grandparents and the broader family. Finally, say in the Indian context, we have a rich heritage of stories, songs, poems and other literature - from Indian mythology, concept of right and wrong in our religions, western literature and the rest. But all this information is also over-whelming and many times contradictory. How many times have we wondered if what we are doing as parents is appropriate ? Are we too lenient ? Are we too strict? More often than not, in the absence of clear feedback structures, we tend to compare our child to the neighbours or his school friends and try and mentally "rank" our child on some vague, personal developmental index.
Appystore.in, through its partner Videojug has some master class videos by Dr Jayne Major who address some salient points in this video. Amongst the many wonderful and insightful points that Dr Major addresses, two stood out for me: - Equal is not fair: In a family different peoples needs are different. The temptation to say a piece of cake needs to be cut in equal pieces cant translate to all situations and may confuse a child. Teaching a child to recognise every members needs and hence understand that he needs to be fair to all and in turn expect what is fair to him is critical. - Involving children in rule setting: As adults we don't like being told. We expect to be involved. It is the same for children says Dr Major in this video http://bit.ly/Appystore_ValuesinChildren from our content partners Videojug. Involving them in deciding and setting of a rule may increase compliance many fold.
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