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  • Q ___ My son is extremely impatient, gets distracted easily, and very stubborn( if he wants something, he will cry and make huge fuss out of it, if i manage to convince him to buy that particular thing then he will move on to something else and ask me to buy it)

    Prachi Chitre
    Answer by Prachi Chitre

    In Behaviour - 02 Dec 2016

    How old is your child? Children can be experts in blackmailing and manipulation. They become stubborn because they know that this behaviour is rewarded..in the sense that their stubbornness gives them what they desire. To deal with this, we as parents need to be stubborn too! You have to be firm with your child and make it very clear that what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. There have to be clear consequences for both actions. He has to learn to pay the price if he engages in inappropriate behaviour. Before stepping out, you need to make him understand what you can buy for him, but nothing else. In very firm words, ask him if he agrees to this. If he follows you, he will get a reward which could be stars, smileys, points etc. These could be converted. So if he accumulates 5 points, he gets a small treat which he wants. For inappropriate behaviour, points are deducted. Now this will take time. He will create a scene in public places. Let him. Do not get flustered. The people watching you are not going to raise your child. In firm words, remind him of his promise. Tell him you are walking away from there. Actually start walking if it is a safe environment. If he doesn't, just pick him up physically(depending on his age) and leave everything and go home. Remember a no is always a no. Stick to your word, no matter what. After a couple of occasions, he will realise this. It is not easy and you will have to be very firm. But just remember that this works and it is worth it. If he is above 7 and the impatience and distractibility is too high, let him be evaluated by a psychologist.

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